I Took Myself on a Date… and Baby, I Did Not Come to Play

I took myself on a date… and baby, I did NOT come to play.

No plus one.
 No distractions.
 Just me, my thoughts, a perfectly cooked steak, buttery lobster, and a drink that hit a little too smooth.

But this wasn’t just dinner… this was a whole moment.

Somewhere between the first sip and the last bite, I realized something real:
 I’ve been waiting on other people to give me the love, effort, and attention I can give myself.

And yeah… we need to talk about that.

In this episode of This Isn’t That, I’m taking you with me on my solo date night—awkward moments, main character energy, quiet realizations, and all. We’re laughing, we’re reflecting, and we’re stepping into a version of ourselves that doesn’t wait to be chosen.

Because this isn’t loneliness…
 This is self-love in real time.

So if you’ve ever felt uncomfortable being alone…
 If you’ve been pouring into everybody but yourself…
 Or if you just need a reminder that you are THAT girl—even by yourself—

Press play.

Your table is already reserved. 🍷✨

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Tim Tim Tim Tim Tum Tim Tell me the right thing oh wo You come Tell me the right thing oh wo You come Tell me the right thing Good morning besties So let's go ahead and get into it because this episode right here this is not about a man This is not about heartbreak This is not about closure This is about me learning how to date myself learning how to sit across from myself and actually like who I see Okay So listen when I say I took myself out on a date baby I took myself out like literally took myself out so I'm gonna paint this picture for y'all nice and slow. It's evening, I'm not rushing, there's no chaos, no kids yelling in the background, no notification stressing me out, just me and a quiet kind of confidence that felt new but also familiar. You know what? You know that feeling, you know, you know what I'm talking about. That feeling when you're stepping back into yourself, like, oh, there she is. Yeah, that type of energy, and I'm getting ready, like I'm about to just go meet somebody important. And you know what? To be honest, I am me. Who's more important than me? Now let's talk about getting ready. Because, oh baby, I didn't just throw on nothing. No, no, no. I curated a whole vibe. My hair was laid, edges were finally behaving for once in a lifetime, outfit giving effortless, but don't play with me, and gloss shining like I had secrets I wasn't telling. And the whole time I'm getting ready, I had this moment. I said, Why don't I do this for myself more often? Why does it always have to be for somebody else? Why does it always have to be for an occasion? Why can't I be the occasion? Yeah. We're talking we're talking about me. Okay? Me. Again, me. Now I get in the car, music playing, not sad music either. We're not crying tonight. We're not we're not doing none of that. We're not in our feelings, we're not, we're not doing that, okay? We are in I'm that bitch and I know it playlist energy vibe. You feel me? And I'm driving, windows are slightly down, and I'm letting the air hit my face like I'm the main character in a movie montage. You know what I'm saying? And at and at that moment, I had this thought. Ain't nobody rushing me, ain't nobody about to mess up my mood tonight, none of that. Just peace. Do you know how luxurious peace feels when you've been through chaos? It feels like silk on your skin, okay? Like exhaling after you've been holding your breath for too long. That type of release. Now I pull up to Outback, and let me tell you something. The way I walked in there, confidence on 10. I'm not looking around, looking to see who's watching me. I'm not feeling awkward because I'm alone. Because let's address that real quick. Some of y'all be scared to go out by yourselves. Like, why? Why is your own company not enough? See that right there? That's a conversation for another day. But just know we're breaking that habit today, right now. So they sit me down, and I'm at this table by myself. I didn't feel lonely. I didn't feel awkward or like embarrassed or anything like that. It felt intentional, like I was choosing me. And I'm looking around and I'm seeing the couples and the families and groups of friends. And for the first time, I don't feel like I'm missing out on something. I felt like I had finally arrived at that something. You get what I'm saying? Now let's talk about the drink because you know I ordered one, baby. So I ordered a drink like I had something to celebrate, and a big drink with a double shot. Okay. And I did have something to celebrate. I'm celebrating me. This drink comes out, y'all. It's super cute and cold, and it's minding its business. Condensation is just dripping down the glass like it knew it was part of a moment. And I took that first sip and I said, Yep, I deserve this. And not because I did something extraordinary, but just because I exist, and that's enough. Okay. Now let's get into the main character of the night. The food, guys. You know it's the food. Like, what are we even talking about? The steak and the lobster. Because I did not come here to play small. I ordered like a woman who knows what she's worth. Okay. The steak comes out sizzling, like it had an entrance to make, okay? Perfectly cooked, juicy, tender, like it was trying to impress me personally. And the lobster, oh, the lobster was luxurious, dripped in butter, like it had been waiting all day for me to show up. And I'm sitting there cutting into this steak, taking my time, not rushing, and not distracted, just experiencing it. And I realized something. When you slow down and actually enjoy your own company, everything feels different. Food tastes better, the moments feel richer, you feel fuller, and not just from the meal, y'all. Okay? Now don't get it twisted. I still had my moments. At one point, I caught myself looking around like, okay, but is anyone judging me right now? And then I laughed at myself because come on now, imagine thinking somebody else's opinion matters more to me than my own or my own piece. That couldn't be me. So then another moment, I almost picked up my phone to call my best friend or like, you know, have someone to talk to or scroll on TikTok or whatever, just out of habit. But I wasn't gonna distract myself, so I put it right back down because I'm not escaping myself tonight. I'm sitting here with me, I'm listening to me, and I'm loving on me. And somewhere between that steak and that last sip of my drink, it hit me that I've been waiting for someone else to give me what I can give myself. Now let me repeat that for the people in the back. I have been waiting for someone else to give me what I can give myself. That's attention, time, effort, and most importantly, love. And that realization, it didn't even hurt, to be honest. It freed me because if I can give it to myself, then I'm never lacking. So that dinner wasn't just a meal, it was a shift. It was me saying, I'm not waiting to be chosen anymore, I'm not waiting to feel special, and I'm definitely not waiting to be loved the way I deserve. I'm doing it right now, just for me. Now, when I left, oh baby, I felt different, but still the same person, but maybe with an upgraded mindset, is the best way to put it. Walking out like I just signed a deal with myself, and the deal was simple. I will never abandon myself again. Because let's be clear, this isn't loneliness, this isn't depression, and this isn't, I guess I'll just be alone. This is self-love, this is choosing yourself on purpose, and this is realizing that your presence is enough. So if you're listening to this and you've been waiting, waiting for someone to take you out, waiting for someone to make you feel special, waiting for someone to show up for you. Go, take yourself on a date, dress up, order the good food, get the drink, sit with yourself, because you might just realize you've been the one all along. And if this episode hit you, go ahead and leave a review, share this with somebody who needs to learn how to love themselves out loud, guys. And remember, we are not waiting anymore, we are choosing ourselves every single time. Till next time.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Bye guys. Tell me the right thing, oh whoa. You come Tell me the right thing, oh whoa. Tell me the right thing, oh woo.